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These tips have been contributed by other parents, carers and professionals. We hope they will give you some ideas to try, but if you need further help why not post a question on our forums or talk to our Behavioural Support site expert.
Teaching social rules
Explaining social communication rules to someone with ASD can be difficult. Use a visual aid, such as large coloured beads or finger puppets to represent other people. Learning social communication rules is like learning a foreign language. It's not impossible to learn, but it has to come from an external source and you have to teach them.
Social skills
There are some really good social skills rules for teaching people with ASD on this site: www.diamondlanguage.com
Mr potato head
Mr potato head - the toy and the app - has been great for teaching my son about basic facial expressions. Also helps him understand how other identifying features such as shoes, earrings and hats can help identify friends and family.
Social network
People & Places is a secure, moderated, social-networking website for people from vulnerable community groups. It is also for people who work and support people from these groups: www.mypeopleandplaces.co.uk
Kimochi toys
My son struggles to make friends. These kimochi toys will be great for him as they can help build up understanding of emotions. Good practice if you like!
NAS Social Skills
National Autistic Society have produced an excellent guide: Social skills for adults and adolescents
Learning to ask questions
I coached my daughter in how to ask questions and make conversation by playing a role play game with her. I pretended to be a famous reporter interviewing her about her Moshi Monsters collection, then we'd swap characters. She actually liked being the famous reporter! We would video and "broadcast" these exchanges.
Picture cards
Use picture cards that show a variety of emotions in faces and body language. This can help the person you care for interpret the visual cues for when someone is getting angry, bored, sad, frustrated or happy. Work up to using video clips of these emotions acted out.
Follow their interests
My son has had a lifelong interest in art museums, so we often bring along a friend – proves very popular. Another fascination is carnivorous plants, so I brought a group of his peers to the botanical garden to see the venus fly traps and pitcher plants.
Supervised activities
Over the years, I have found my adult son has responded better socially in activities that are supervised. He was great in cubs and scouts as he liked the structure and boundaries. Now an adult he still responds well to rule based activities or heavily refereed sports!
Ask the teacher
It can be worth asking your child's teacher if there are children at school they seem to connect with. Keep these suggestions in mind for 'play dates'.
Find an activity
Build play-dates around fun, interesting activities all children will enjoy. Think creative and prepare. I once gave each child a ball of pizza dough and had a pizza-making lunch. Bear in mind mainstream kids will probably love all the SN kit, sensory features, trampolines etc!
Invite friends home
Encourage friendships by inviting others to your home. The person you care for will usually be more relaxed in the home environment and will be more able to work on appropriate social interaction.
Know the limits
Sometimes I push my son to tolerate longer periods of socialising; but I also know how to make a hasty retreat when I see a shift in mood or agitation. When he was younger, I limited playdates to about 1 hour, but now he enjoys 2 hours. Being sensitive to his mood increases his interest in planning future playdates.
Review and re-boot
At the end of the day, talk about what you learned and what you would like to do next time. With friends, there’s always a next time!
Practice turn taking
My adult son still struggles with sharing, taking turns, going ” first” or “last”. I try and practice and prepare him as much as possible at every opportunity, be it dishing up at the table or getting into the car. It definitely helps with his social skills.
Peer mentors
A good mainstream school should set up 'peer mentors' or 'buddies' for your child with special needs. Teachers should look for existing positive relationships other classmates have with your child, and identify someone who they can guide to help with encouraging appropriate communication skills.
Go clubbing
For adults with learning disabilities, check out our Arts and Leisure pack or Time out with Netbuddy listings for inclusive clubbing nights in your area. A great way of socialising!
Raise awareness
Its good to be honest and upfront about the person you are caring for's needs. I noticed my daughter was getting stared at in Brownies so I did a short talk to the pack about her disabilities and how they affect her. It really helped.
No One to Play with
There's a rather old book called No One to Play with: Social side of Learning Disabilities by Betty B Osman. Beware, some of the terminology is no longer used and could offend nowadays but the ideas within are still highly relevant.
Parallel play
Don't knock parallel play - its a start! My son with ASD doesn't like to interact much but he will happily engage in the same activities alongside other people. It can fuel interaction or friendships - especially if their is a common shared interest.
Identify goals
Think about short-term and long-term development of social skills. Break down those stages of development into tiny steps and create the “scaffolding” to support each step for the person you care for.
Redirect aggression
I gave my son a punchbag. I have also learnt its better to focus on physical activities when his 'friends' come round. Taking turns on swing ball is a good one.
Friend detective
You as carer can help the person you support make friends. Think about places you go. I found suitable friends for my daughter through our wider church group. Focus on shared interests - valuable friendships do not have to be be with folk of the same age.
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